Donna's Journey

I saw this post on TJEdMUSE@yahoogroups.com and decided to answer it here–
Carrie P. wrote:
>
> Hi All,
> I am hoping to get some input on inspiring my daughter. Maybe I just need someone to tell me what I am doing with her is > OK.

Carrie, some times we need reassurance, other times we may need clarity.

> It has been difficult to get her inspired to learn about anything lately. I do not require anything of her except that she be > doing something that uses her brain during study hours – usually 2 to 4 hours a day.

These two sentences conflict. Inspiring and requiring are two different things. I feel that solo is for when youth get into projects and more seriously when they get into self directed scholar phase. She is eight and is probably still more core than love of learning. There is more exposure, exploration, and experimentation with many different experiences in the early part of love of learning. As children develop breadth and depth they begin to embrace more and delve deeper and dance into projects and out of them. Again, how can they be interested in lots of things otherwise. It can take a long period of various exposures and opportunities before a child may initiate independent investigations.

Your daughter is eight. She may not be ready to transition into love of learning yet. You may have to do more preparation of yourself for transition.

> Reading and crafts are about all the interest her. I do read aloud to her about one hour a day. Her independent reading is > all fiction – things like Judy Moody & Clarice Bean books. I am glad she is reading but she balks at reading anything > informational.

She may not be developmentally ready for that yet.

> Math holds no interest for her so it is rarely done and is usually a game – no worksheets.

Math is a language and is highly symbolic. Some kids play the game and memorize the facts and work through the books. However, because of its symbolic nature, she may not be ready for math. A math rich living math environment keeps them learning math as she cooks, sews, gardens, shops and lives from day to day. In the 1800s many country schools did not teach math until children were 10 or older. Then they got all the operations of math we take eight years to teach and they did it on one school year. Children in the country had tons of life experience living math. That made it easier to then learn the notation.

> She also has a way of starting projects and not finishing them.
Most people are great starters and terrible finishers. Finishing is taught in the core phase. We teach it as we train them and work with them to get the work done in the home and in the daily rhythms. She is probably still more core phase. So, now would be a good time to learn in all aspects to be a finisher or completer of tasks by working with her and guiding the way. Your example while engaged in a relationship and working together will go a long way. This was not supposed to be a quick lesson, but a drip by drip over time. It takes time to really do a core phase and we really never leave a phase we just add more dimensions as we develop.

> Her writing is mainly done in her many blank books – journal type writing with atrocious spelling which she says frustrates > her yet she is not willing to do the work it takes to become a better speller.

Journaling is great! I had the Eagle’s wings phonics book. In it was a list of the 600 most commonly used words. I copied it and placed it on the outside cover of the binder for each of my children. They could then look up the word and did not have to stop and ask for help. At some point they usually grew into the idea of maybe it would be easier to memorize the word sections. A great book is Any Child Can Write by Harvey S. Wiener, Ph.D. Oxford University Press.

> Is this what Love of Learning looks like? Where is the learning?

I do not feel like this is love of learning, yet. She may be starting the dance, but she may still be core phase. Love of learning is not independent learning, though it may spark independent learning. When I think of inspire, I think of actions I need to take. When I think of require, I think of demands I make. Then I think, “which would engage me and take me further?

> I run a history club for girls based on the American Girl time periods. She likes the club but has no desire to further explore > these ideas – unless it is cooking or craft related and she has a hard time finishing what she starts.

I created Princess Academies when my youngest of three daughters just turned eight. She did not want to study about American Girls, though both older sisters had American Girl stuff. She wanted to study real people. I created a new group with that in mind. Our group is not a drop off group and the girls are not expected to read the books alone. We have the mothers and daughters share the journey, both in coming to the monthly meetings, in reading the book, and taking the Hope Chest Journey together. Moms seldom finished the books on their own when they handed the books to their daughters to read independently. I feel this is a great loss to both of them. Moments for discussion and mentoring arise while reading together that would not happen otherwise.

> Should I leave her alone?

I would say no. No, if she is in core phase. No, if she is transitioning into Love of learning. No, if she is in love of learning. I am not saying that she need no alone time. However, I would not expect her to be an autodidact at age eight. I had a child passionate about flags at eight and that is all he wanted to study. I gave him time for that, but I felt the need to inspire more.

> Require more?

A parent inspiring a child does not happen when a child is left to himself. The child alone may stumble on something of interest, or not. Mom has a broader and deeper life experience than the child and this is why I think that lead me, guide, me walk beside me, is the way to go.

> Any insight into LOL and what it really looks like would be helpful.

I had a mom who mentored me and that made it so much easier to do so with my children. Sometimes we have a picture of what we think a child needs to be doing that we forget to find out what they want to learn and what we have to offer. We also can have such a narrow view of what essentials are that we fret over the essentials and miss an opportunity to expand horizons.

My daughter is 11 now and as we take our Hope Chest Journey together she is developing those basic areas of reading, writing, and arithmetic and becoming more independent. Ah, but she is beginning to move toward puberty and that cognitive development is beginning to unfold. On Sunday evening she came to me and said it was about time she took more responsibility for her own education. A new dance is beginning. I do not expect her to go solo yet. She will have days where the Hokie Pokie will cause her to put her right foot in, other days when her right foot will be pulled out, other days when she shakes it all about it, then one day she will put her foot in and she will be a young scholar. It won’t look like a classroom model of scope and sequence. However, experience with her six older siblings tells me that she is about to learn some new steps .