Donna's Journey

After looking at lay out of my thesis book, I can re-lay things out and reduce a number of plain white pages. That will be important when I add the resource section: Pearls For Your Hope Chest Journey.

When all is said and done, will it measure up? Will people grasp the work that went in it? Will they be disappointed? Will the work resonate with anyone? Will they throw rotten tomatoes? Will it meet anyones’ expectations? Was this just an exercise in futility? Will it make a difference? Will anyone get it?

I pray so.

Yes, I did not die. I did not move, accept from my bed to the desk and the table. I have been a recluse. My eyes have not given out, but they threaten to. Soon it will be time to celebrate!!! Yikes! I should not get carried away, I could derail myself. Chant my mantra… no, I am not telling what it is. Ok where is my copy of the Taming of the Screw? Yes, you read me right.

I have been arising early and spending much of the day working to complete my thesis compilation. I finished the book part this afternoon, all 178 pages, double space .12 font size, Times New Roman. Now I need to compile the resource section of 27 separate files. The articles, lists, and principles are all written. I just need to consolidate, do layout, and proof. Then I need to take all of that and insert it into my thesis/project with abstract and lessons learned. I hope and pray I can finish it this week. I have a copy of the first part in my hands, literally hot off the press. This has been a lot of work for me. My husband said it is overkill and I should ask for a doctorate instead, LOL. Yes, I am foolish enough to have already considered what I would do for my doctoral work. That won’t be for a while though. I started this journey in July 2000, I think a Sabbatical is way overdue!

Sabbatical? According to Wiki: “A sabbatical (from Greek sabbatikos) is a prolonged hiatus, typically one year, in the career of an individual taken in order to fulfill some goal, e.g., writing a book or traveling extensively for research. ..” I spent the last year writing this book. More to come…

Wow! It has been that long…17 years. I can remember as if it was almost yesterday. Now you are taller than almost everyone in the family! I hope you 17th birthday is a great one. Next year you won’t be a youth anymore, you will be an adult! Enjoy, my son…

Our option on land in Monticello expired on 3 July, as we had not yet sold our home. We were going to put a home on a .28 acre plot on the west side of town. Back to the drawing board.

Last week Tuesday we discovered a new listing for a home in Monticello. We drove down the very next morning to see it and had the opportunity to go through it.

Yes! It was everything I wanted. It has 1,400 square feet more than we have now and a two car garage, on a 1/3 acre plot (We are now on .21 acres), on a serene and quiet street of four homes that dead-ends into a beautiful alfalfa field, at the north west end of town. The owners of that field live across the street, and their barns are behind their lots. I cannot even see them because of the lush treed landscape of their yards.

This home is about the same size we had planned, but the lot is larger. One of the nice things is that someone else got to handle the building logistics. The house is only eight years old! I wanted wood floors in the main living areas, and it has them! I will have space to house all my library in one room, as the family room is 27 feet long! I will have studio space, and space to expand my studio temporarily into the garage for huge projects. Kitchen pantry space. Space for colloquia. Space inside and out to socialize. Guest space! Office space for Roger’s business.

With the large lot on the edge of the alfalfa field, I will see if we can have chickens (maybe, I am still considering this one) and an apiary (foxes, deer, and predators won’t likely bother them, and if I organic bee farm, neither will collapsing hive syndrome). Evidently the field has a fox that likes to chase deer and on occasion they turn and chase him. I will have space for a green house! Space for orcharding — fruit trees, grapes, strawberries and raspberries (we have planted and have grown each of them before). I may even plant vine crops on the easement behind our back fence. Oh yes, I have secondary pressurized irrigation water. Yeah! However, since I tend to do intensive and square foot gardening, I won’t be wasting.

Yes, I have already sized it up to see where stained glass and sublimated tile can go. It has my creative juices flowing. There is a sidelight I can put glass in by the front door. There is are large windows I can hang glass in. There are views I do not want to block, and others to enhance. The house is one story ranch with with a backside walkout basement. As I looked at the cement wall on the back side of the house’s basement I realized it was the perfect size for a sublimated tile mural. We will see…

Space for you folks to come visit and park off the street! He He!

North east, a clear view across the alfalfa field, is the temple! The hospital is around the corner. Hope we never need it, though it is a top 100 hospital, and I am sure we would get good care. We are walking distance (1/2 block) from the park. Nice! We would have a drug dealer next door, oh wait, I mean the town pharmacist, and I have been assured that they are a wonderful young family. I hope when he reads this he will see the warped humor. One of my home teachers was an attorney, he endured our warped lawyer jokes and even share some of his own. All in good nature.

We spent the week negotiating the deal. Yesterday we drove down to Monticello. We walked through the home, measured it. Took copious pictures. Then we sat down and finalized our agreement to buy the home, contingent upon sale of our home. We have 60 days to sell and move. Yes the market is flat. God willing, we will be there sooner, rather than later.

Meanwhile, over the next 60 days (by 14 September) I need to complete my thesis (by 20 August) and prepare for my orals (11 September). Of course, we are aiming to have things done long before the 12th, as the 14th is a Sunday, we do not do business on Sunday, and neither do title companies. We won’t be getting a loan, because we own our present home and want to stay debt free, but the person buying out home made need to.

Gee, I would love to be in that home before the GWC ground breaking! With enough time to get it semi organized so you can all visit!

Lots of plans. I am trying to envision it as it will become. I won’t cross my fingers, but I will fast and pray. If you feel inclined to add a prayer or two in our behalf, please feel free to do so.

I remember that Corrie Ten Boom’s sister, Betsy, told her to be thankful, even for fleas. Well, I am extending that to the weeds in lawn and garden care, as well. There is nothing so intimate with God’s creations as getting down on your knees and tending to the cultivation of plants, working my fingers through the soil. It is here that I can have much time to meditate and turn thoughts over in my mind. It is almost as if I were on sacred ground. I know, you are saying, “You have got to be kidding, how can a weedy imperfect place be sacred ground?” I say that it is, because God created it and cursed it, “for our sakes.”

I see the world as God’s Study, His classroom, and laboratory. I find that the door to His study is always open. What we learn from entering into it, is, most of the time, up to us. Up to us? We can either be active or passive. We can wait for the master to come in and instruct us, or we can seek and find. Gardening can be seen as a drudgery and duty, or it can be embraced as an opportunity to seek, find, learn and reflect, as we engage in a creative act. What are we creating? Order and beauty.

Monday night, for family home evening, James led us in cleaning weeds from the garden. Wow! Our purging of weeds created space for the seeds we had planted, to thrive! We worked in the garden until we could not see which plants were weeds and which were desired to be had. Yet, when we stood up we could see the beautiful patterns left by the remaining plants and brown earth.

Tuesday morning I returned to that sacred place. I placed a folded old towel on the ground, as if it were my prayer rug. I got down on my knees and set my heart and hands to work. I stopped for a sandwich, I stopped to take Jeremy to summer seminary, and then again, to pick him up. All in all, I worked clearing weeds for seven hours. I usually do not wear glove unless I am handling thistle. Makes for glamorous hands, NOT! Yes, I had been neglectful and had been distracted by other pressing issues, and voila, I had an opportunity to repent and refocus! I only have about one hour of weeding left!

My boys left to climb King’s Peak at 6:30 am this morning, and will be gone until Saturday so I guess I am on my own! I have to sweep the deck, rake the flower beds, trim the roses, and finish the weeding. I have got to learn from my gardening style that periodic purges are dumb, and that regular, rhythmic, maintenance takes little time each day and is far less painful. What would have taken but 15 minutes a piece, two weeks ago took a whole day. No, this is not Cinderella here, just your average, everyday, a garden princess.

We are at Thursday and really need to get out in the yard and finish.

Somehow, when I am dirtied by yard work (AKA life) I do not feel much like a princess. However, quick reflection reminds me whose daughter I am, and that though princesses are born, queens are made. Then I am humbled and begin to see the parables placed before me, to help me become that queen, I need to become. Then I begin to like the landscape unto my soul and get to work! Perhaps if I polished my tiara and donned it as my garden thinking cap, I would feel the dignity and grace that humble, on your knees, hands in the soil, gardening imbues. Ah, a prettier and more radiant sight, for sure!

My daughter in law wrote on her blog called Told Off in which she shared the concept of “killing silence.” I thought I would respond here, since she reads my blog.

She lives in an apartment. People in apartments are usually not very permanent and that, I feel, leads people to be more private. After all, it is not like the tenants are going to stay for a long time. Parting is painful, so people tend to keep to themselves. Younger couples tend to move more frequently than established households. Who wants to pack all that junk? Who wants to deal with kids whining because they will miss their friends? There is a reason why neighborhoods are different than apartment complexes, though apartments put people in closer proximity to each other.

I am an elevator talker, I talk to people in elevators. I wave and say hi when I am out for a walk. I stop and talk to neighbors, and it does not matter what race they are. Maybe it is because I grew up in Hawaii and suffered what discrimination feels like. I do not buy the “everyone is racist.” line that someone posted to Ki’s blog.

I try not to make small talk, I try to see how they are doing.

I love to discuss books that we have both read.

I grew up in a family where I had a lot of criticism. Thus, for self preservation I became a very contentious debater. I loved debate and making a good argument, and winning.

I run several yahoo groups. I kind of carried my defensiveness into my writing. Where I try to take away excuses.

All that said, in my old age I have come to realize that I hate debate, but love discussion. You can be all right and still be all wrong in a debate. You can win a debate with well constructed words that are wrong, only because the other guy is not quick on his feet, or does not know his stuff. You can construct a good argument and lose a friend.

Debate can bring a contentious spirit. It can destroy relationships and cause deep emotional hurt. It can be very offensive, uncivil, and ungracious. Debate really is not about truth, and I do not feel people can come to the truth through debate. So, I tend to not discuss things that I feel can lead to contentious debate anymore, or at least I try not to.

Last night’s devotional was on contention and debate. We did not pick the subject, it just happened to come up for that date in the book we are reading. We read a little each day. It is divided by the days of the year, and has thoughts to ponder. We do scripture study earlier in the day, but we close our day with a devotional thought to ponder. The devotional book we are using this year is When Ye Receive These Things: Daily Reflections on the Book of Mormon by Lloyd D. Newell and Robert L. Millet.

“July 13– There were many among them who began to be proud, and began to contend warmly with their adversaries…yea it was the cause of much trial with the church. For the hearts of many were hardened, and their names were blotted out, that they were remembered no more among the people of God. Alma 1:22-24

‘A hard lesson for us to learn is that whenever we engaged in argument or debate about sacred things, we are wrong. Persuasion and conversion to the truth come only through the quiet whisperings of the Spirit (I Corinthians 2:11-14), not through intellectual jangling or overmuch logic. It is possible for a faithful member of the church to become, essentially, anti-anti in their response to others who oppose our faith. In the process the church member forfeits the right to the gift of the Holy Ghost and places himself in spiritual peril. The risen Lord taught the Nephites that “he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.’ (III Nephi 11:29) We do not debate. We teach and we testify.”

With my dad, it did not seem to matter what side I took, it was always a debate. As I got older I tried to use his arguments and he debated those. I finally realized that he just liked to debate and win and it was not constructive.

I like to talk to people. I like to listen to people. I like to observe people. No one can accuse me of killing silence, well, anyone can accuse, but that is not the way I see what I do.

The key is, I do not sit here and wait for people to come to me. As an elevator talker, I am more inclined to disturb their bubble. If a home teacher or visiting teacher has not come, I confront them gently with a warm invitation. After all, they may be painfully shy. They may be suffering from a previous door shut in their face. They might be tired of setting appointments that others do not keep and may have lost heart. I give them a benefit of the doubt and open my door and my heart to them. I try to have friends that I can:
1) emulate
2) a few I feel comfortable with
3) a few that can benefit from friendship.
Yes, I spend most of my time in my comfort zone. However, I have friends that bring out my best, and I need that, we all do. I have a friend that is not active, and her husband smokes (and I am allergic to the smoke). I have friends that struggle with children inactive in the gospel. I do not give people 50 questions before I will befriend them. When I lived the apartment life, years ago, I would go out of my way to meet neighbors. I would invite them to dinner. It did not matter their race or religion. Some did not even speak English,but a little. Along with this, I would always look for and try to cultivate friendships with people of my own congregation that could lift me and I could lift. I would invite them to dinner, to go to the temple, watch their children while they went on dates, etc. That way, we young couples could strengthen each other.

So, “killing silence,” nope, I would not let it happen.

Just after father’s day my daughter’s new husband received a phone call from his maternal grandfather. He said he had a big project and wanted them to come to Nauvoo. They left here on Monday and drove straight through. The normal 18.5 hour drive, with a morning sick wife took them 24 hours. He is there to help with the website and other tasks incident to the reorganizing of the University of Nauvoo into Nauvoo University. This is a very exciting development. “The University was founded in 1840, became dormant in 1846, and reorganized in 2008.” That is 162 years.

Besides being an educator, I am a history buff and have been aware, for a long time, of what Joseph tried to establish before the saints left Nauvoo. I have always found it intriguing. In a day and time when women were rare on college campuses, Eliza R. Snow was attending classes at the University of Nauvoo. So, when I found out what was about to happen, the reorganization of the University of Nauvoo into Nauvoo University, I was happy to hear it.

This morning my family and I attended the baptism of Sete Aula`i. It was a wonderful baptism. We met in the chapel and they had to open the overflow. Ward, family, friends, BYU coaches, BYU football players filled the Stake Center chapel. Sete was the only baptism. I was moved by the music. It was touching as four young ladies sand a beautiful medley and in the middle of the song sang I am a Child of God.

We moved from the chapel to the room with the fount. The woman were asked to sit and the men to stand. There were more than we had chairs for. Sete’s teammates, family and friends that were men, stood the perimeter of the room. It was powerful. It was like they had encircled us round about to protect us and call down Heaven’s powers. The baptismal prayer was said in Samoan and Sete was baptized by another uncle.

I know Sete because he lives in my neighborhood, at my friend’s Candace and Alvin’s home. Alvin is his uncle. My children like Sete. He is a wonderful young man.

I was sad to hear that though he has always been a great football player and even all conference, he was not drafted nor even contacted by an agent. He is a man of powerful character, but gentle spirit. He simply looked at his options and moved on to plan B in his life. How many young men that had put that much into football could have dealt with such a situation in such a dignified way?

Afterwards they had a brunch for the crowd that attended. We saw the numbers and headed home for our traditional Saturday big breakfast brunch, leaving room for others. As I walked by the kitchen I realized where I got some of my attitudes about family and about hospitality. It is the Polynesian way. There are no strangers there. If you are not related, it is not for long, at least in Hawaii where
everyone is a Calabash Cousin. Oh, and they always break bread together. Even after baptisms.

Oh what a beautiful morning!

We went to Monticello again yesterday. I worked on my thesis as we drove down. The sun was too bright to see the computer screen on the way back, so I picked up “Captivating” and read to Roger from where we left off on my last trip to Cedar City.

” For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things…” (II Nephi 2:11)

The opposition sometimes comes in the form of two compelling choices. The list continues to grow to stay, and the choice to move is equally as strong. Sometimes decisions are not as big as we make them out to be. Sometimes they are bigger than we realize. Sometimes we are at the major sign post at a crossroads of two paths, and it matters what path we choose, among two good choices. Other times, we are not at a major sign post of a crossroads and we get to choose, because eventually, maybe five years down the road, both paths will cross at the same point and a crossroad choice will be vital, then.

So, we are carefully weighing. Major or not, both paths will be an adventure, and both will be different. Like a kid trying to stay up late because they are afraid they will miss out on the adult fun, we look at our options. If the choice is ours, what will be gained and what will be lost by each choice. We cannot have it both ways. If we are at a major crossroad, we need a still and quite heart to hear and not mistake, the direction we must take.

This I know, we cannot have both.

On Monday we moved the boys into the girl’s old room and placed their bunk bed and dresser in there. They have plenty of room to play games and do 3D puzzles in the middle of the floor. We moved Mary into the small room that used to be the boy’s room. Which left her with no bed or dresser. We moved the queen sized bed, headboard, night stand, and long dresser down stairs to the room that once upon a time was my studio (which is packed up). The bedroom set was Roger’s father’s and it is now Julia’s. It is Walnut. When she marries, she will take it with her. Meanwhile, it is Julia’s room unless we have guests. When that happens Julia can sleep on Mary’s new bed.

Tonight, Mary and I went to Dream Dinners in Orem and made 13 dinners in 1 1/2 hours, plus the two we made on Tuesday night, we have 15 meals. As I put these tasty meals together I began thinking about some of our standbys and quick meals. A whole system came to mind using fresh and whole foods. A another cookbook in the making. Mary is already talking of family recipes she wants to assemble and freeze. Kinda like making our own convenience food…AKA, canning, dehydrating, drying, etc…

While we were gone, Roger and Jeremy went to Costco and bought a white trundle bed for Mary and a dresser. We came home to Roger and Jeremy assembling furniture.

Now I have all the youth upstairs, which means for better unity.