Donna's Journey

This is my response to a question asked by a friend on the yahoo group TJEDMUSE…

Dear, you are not alone. I read your letter and this is a struggle for many modern urbanites. Bear in mind, I am speaking generally about what I see and hear from mothers, and this may or may not apply to you.

> Time Management was a skill I did not learn as a youth due to a dysfunctional home (no one there really to teach me how to do it). I still struggle with it a lot. But I know that I am what I am because of my parents and it is my fault if I stay that way, so I am trying to improve in this area. But because I struggle with it, so do my kids.

Once upon a time, the demands of agrarian life imposed rhythms on us. People had to arise early to feed animals and care for them. Simple tasks such as bathing took time to draw the water from the well and heat. Laundry was taken to a stream and beat clean. Wood had to be cut and stacked or it would not be there when we needed it. In order to have a clean home and necessities provided on the Sabbath, the week got systematized. Monday wash day, Tuesday ironing day, Wednesday mending day…

Now we:

* Have hot and cold running water at the twist of a knob. We do not even need to wait to fill a tub, we can be showered, dried and dressed, before a tub can be filled
* Few of us have animals to care for, outside of house pets
* We can throw in a laundry load, pop dinner into the oven, and while those electronic slaves work, we can spend time with our family even head to the store if we need to, or perhaps read to a child
* Many fabrics are wash and wear, not needing ironing
* Many of us have gas or electric heat, it is run by a slave called a thermostat. For many of us there is no need to chop wood, except for ambiance.

What is the result? If there are no compelling reasons to structure one’s life, we tend to default and live by mood. Our great grand parents, more likely than not lived by rhythm rather than mood.

I see this lack of structure as a result of our society devaluing the core phase. Children from dysfunctional homes (what is normal? My daughter jokingly says, “I’ve seeeeen neeermal and it ain’t pretty!”) and children raised by caregivers in daycare, as well as, children whose parents were raised that way, are more likely to have these time structuring issues. Why? Simply because those situations are places where children are cared for, protected, and entertained, and less likely where they are engaged in a routine.

I see moms struggle to maintain a home and to home educate. When they are working on their home, they feel guilty because their children are being neglected. When they are focusing on school and the house is a mess, they feel guilty. I often see this with public schooled families, as well. Trying to make family and career work is a juggling act for many. Throw in a home business and you have an earthquake! There are solutions.

One thing to remember is that you can do it all, just not all at the same time. I believe that it is the structure of day in and day out family rhythms that provide the structuring of the time, that later academic success is built on. I call it the Ecclesiastes Approach, “1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…” Yes, I feel you need flexibility to follow epiphanies, yet, after all is said and done, structure prepares the scholar! We often refer to different areas of study as disciplines.

I feel that if a child is engaged in life rhythms in their core phase (pre and early school years) that they will have the habitudes of mind to engage in the love of learning, and sky rocket into a diligent young scholar. Nowhere do I see this more than in family work, done by rhythm. A parent working with a child is likely to finish the task, and do so diligently. Day in and day out, week after week, month after month, year after year- an example of diligence and finishing being a goal, rings loud and clear. The child learns from example and that adults finish. The same goes for quality. I do not think of adults doing a slipshod job when working with children. I really feel that doing family work by rhythm helps discipline the mind.

Too often, I see homes run by mood, where the child does not feel like doing this or that, as it is too much effort compared to the alternative of being entertained. Or the parent only cleans when it becomes too overwhelming. I have also watched as parents in exasperation throw up their hands and send their kids to school to “get structure,” so they will actually get something done academically. What they do not realize is that the same things that lead to school success are the very same things that can lead to success in the home. Charlotte Mason spoke of education being “an atmosphere, a discipline, a life.” I really feel if the atmosphere of the home is chaotic and by mood, it does not usually yield diligent and disciplined minds. I am not talking about a rigid mind. I feel that somehow the atmosphere of a disciplined life somehow disciplines the mind for thinking.

Many bright students, who qualified for college got there, only to waste their time, distracted by the endless array of distraction and activities, and end up either quitting or failing. A youth who has lived a disciplined life is more likely to rely on rhythms that have served them. I see the lack of self discipline, and the lack of study skills, shows. I find it hard to believe that a youth that has never studied more than an hour, our even four, would somehow be transformed into a diligent scholar the moment the parents leave him at the university door step.

> I’d love to get some input from those of you who feel you have a handle on structuring both your time and your kid’s time and how you teach them to manage their time.

I have fought through some of these issues myself. I have watched these tendencies in myself and among my own. I have also seen what family work and rhythms can produce in my home and family. I feel this is why it is so valuable to revisit and reevaluate all engagements that impede the structure and rhythms of a home. I know the toll that running a family business can take on home life. These few things can go a long way:
* Check the Pulse by self evaluating and counseling with the Lord- helps us see what needs to go, what needs to stay
* Counsel with spouse and family
* Adjusting and working towards rhythms that are ideal for your family is important.
This is dynamic and needs to be revisited often. Running a home is huge. Home education is huge. To combine them it helps to develop a discipline of personal and family rhythms. Throw in a home business or other demanding activities (or distractions) and you can get by for a while, but sooner or later you will need to consider the orchestration.

A simple structure is best. I do not believe in over structure or planning every minute. We all need margins in our life for epiphanies to be more abundant.

Life no longer gives us rhythms. We get to choose them. They are not prison bars, but rather like a default setting that we do unless something important causes us to do something else. Then when the important passes, we pick up our rhythm where we left off. If our present default is not working, perhaps it is time to revisit it. If our children lack structure in their studies, ask ourselves how we have prepared them to have a well disciplined mind. I believe that helping our children have structure in their lives, is part of sowing seeds of greatness in them.

It is time to check the pulse here! A great activity for Sunday.

This was a question posted on TJEdMuse
JoDean,

> Do any of you have favorite resources that you use to expose your children to art?

I am an artist, a daughter of an artist, have a BA in Fine Art and Design and have taught art classes to children during the summer. Mom was an oil painter. I started out college on drawing and painting. I do printmaking, stained glass murals, sandblasting, sand carving and beginning to learn high speed engraving.

I got my start because mom would let me come to her oil painting classes with her when I was not yet five years old. They would give me brushes, a full palette, and a clean white canvas. She took me to museums when I was very young. She was resourceful and used her color and design skills in the clothes she created for her children. I changed my major to art in the middle of my sophomore year of college.

I personally feel art studies need to include art appreciation as well as art creation.

I created lists of artists and their works for four cycles of history, Ancient, Medieval, Renaissance, and Modern. I included this list in my thesis, available in an e format on princessacademies.com at [20%] discount this week for the e-download. Each artist has four works selected, so we could study an artist a month with an art piece a week. I show it to them Charlotte Mason style and then post it to the fridge for the week. I may have them draw it from memory. Then they can retire it to a binder along with anything else they want to collect about the artist or the artist’s work. I also created lists of musicians,
mathematician/scientist/inventors/discoverers, and statesman/stateswomen/dramatists/poets/world leaders.

The other half is the learning to produce art. I like to teach my children to keep a nature notebook, explore mediums, and learn the basics of drawing, color, and design.

I plan on doing “En Plein Air” Academy again this summer.

Mahalo, Donna

TJEDMUSE Yahoo group RE: Presenting Whats Mine

Dear Friends,

Jennifer asked:
> I’ve been pondering more on the idea Rachel uses of presenting what’s “mine” each day during our school time…

This is good! Pondering brings good questions. Good questions can bless your life and that of your children.

> I understand this is a way of giving them a broad exposure to a lot of topics so do you present something different each day and let them take up learning more about those things they are interested in during their personal learning time? Or do you present something and if there is excitement about it, continue on with it the next few days more as a unit study?

Yes, both tends to happen.

> I have 5 kids ages 11 down to 7 mo so I am dealing with a variety of interests and skill levels and don’t have a lot of one on one time with each child to help them study their own interests and passions. I try but it’s hard.

Not only age and skill difference but phases of learning and development, too. It appears you have many core phasers. If your 11 year old is a boy, there is a 60% chance that his transition into scholar will not happen at 12, as boys tend to hit puberty later than girls and this can affect their transitioning. Puberty brings hormonal changes that in turn increase the ability of the brain to understand abstraction and symbolism.

Then I followed it by mentoring and coaching rotations. One child would be working with toddlers and playing games or helping them make their beds, read them stories, build forts, dress up etc. while I worked mentoring or coaching one-on-one with a child, and another child got to have free learning time.

> Also, in presenting what’s “mine”, does that mean you are not really covering a lot of the “academic” (I realize that is a taboo word for LofL age kids but I don’t know how to otherwise define what I mean ) subjects each day (at least not in a “group” setting) and that each child would learn the academic skills at their own pace during individual time?

I see “what is mine” as share from my store of knowledge, not teaching from a textbook. This is very contextual and incidental, inspired by the incident at hand, rather than picking up a text book or manual to teach our kids what we think they should learn. A lot of basic academics at our home are learned in context, incidentally. I do not feel that academic learning is taboo in LOL. It is in core phase that focus on academics can undermine and distract a child from more important lessons. These missed lessons of life and values tend to rear their head at the time they should be transitioning into scholar phase. It is assignments and busy work that we need to be careful to not fall in the trap of during the love of learning phase, as they tend to douse the fire of love of learning.

> Because right now it is the time to expose, expose, expose and develop the idea that learning is fun and there is lots of cool stuff to learn. Right?

Expose and giving them time to experiment and discover. A lot of adults have trouble learning new things because they never play with it. They try to learn it perfectly with no mistakes. Whereas a child plays with and finds out what works and what does not, and then they embrace what they discovered works, through their play. Their play is their work.

I see love of learning as a time to be exposed to a breadth of knowledge, have opportunity to explore, experiment, embrace and enjoy. It is not so much that learning is fun as it is rewarding and fills a internal need to grow up. Many mothers today grew up latchkey or on daycare before school. There, children were kept fed, clean, and entertained. Schools turned to trying to make education fun and entertaining, which earned title of edutainment. Real learning is rewarding can engage the attention, interest, and therefore the mind.

> So my real question I guess is: Are there any pros/cons to doing unit studies where you stay on one topic for awhile vs. more “flitting” presentations where every day is totally different? Keeping in mind that this is the main “schooling” in our home for the day each day besides our core book and reading good literature books together.

Unit studies integrates studies around a theme. Though there may a general theme, there may be flitting within that theme.

It is one of two track options that Aspiring and Junior Scholars can use to gain a very generous foundation, in short, it is a pre-scholar program. The Four year, Four Cycles of History provide a systematic integration of spiritual and secular learning activities covering the following:
* Cycle I– Old Testament, Book of Moses, and Book of Abraham/ Ancient Times: Pre-Mortal Existence to 1 AD/ Introduction to Beginning Hebrew.
* Cycle II– New Testament/ Birth of Christianity, the Apostasy, and Medieval Times: 1 AD to 1500 AD/ Introduction to Beginning Greek and Greek Roots.
* Cycle III– Book of Mormon/ Age of Exploration , Migrations, the Foundations of Liberty, and the Restoration: 1500 to 1820/ Introduction to Latin Roots.
* Cycle IV– Doctrine and Covenants and Joseph Smith History/ The Fullness of Times: 1820 to the present/ Melting Pot Approach to Foreign Language.

I hope this helps.

Mahalo, Donna

Friends,

This was posted on Mentoring Our Own when the person signed up. Mentoring Our Own is no longer a discussion group. So I thought I would post my answer here.

> Hi. I have 4 children. Three are triplet five-year-olds. My question for now would be…when do you all have a moment to sit down and “write” a curriculum or lesson plan?
Thanks,
Anissa C.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anissa,

Mahalo,
Donna

Friends,

I have decided to post my answers here instead of the boards and leave a link to my site. The below question was posted on TJEdMUSE yahoo group…

> I’m gathering suggestions of books to read with a group of twelve year old youth. I’d like to discuss some books that REALLY get these kids thinking about owning their own education, their missions in life, transitioning through the phases, etc. I’d like to read some books that could be followed up with a great simulation or activity that gets the children working together, communicating, etc.
> Most of these children are in Love of Learning phase and need inspiration. The majority of these children are boys.
> Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
> Thanks,
> Robin
>
Robin,

Sounds like these boys are in shut down.

How is their core phase? In core phase they learn values, self discipline, habitudes, work ethic, and more. I usually refuse to work with youth this age in shut down or not, unless I work with the parents too. Sure, an inspiring teacher can make a difference. However, success rates increase with home support. Home support increases as parents gain understanding. Usually, parents will put boys with shut down issues into a class hoping the teacher can inspire them. I also see anxious parents try to get kids in a class early because they are “bright.” I interview youths and parents before I let them into my class. If the kids are not ready they show it.

If they are twelve year-old boys and not transitioning into practice scholars, I do not feel it is not time to move into simulations etc. Twelve and not inspired? Chances are they have neither a solid core phase nor love of learning. Transition is not likely to happen if they are in shut down and have a lot of assignments and hoops to jump through. It is time for full on love of learning. Set aside thoughts of transition and focus on love of learning. When they get it, they will usually start to transition. Remember boys often transition later and the more one focuses on transition before they have a love of learning, the longer it will take to transition.

One thing that delays transition for many boys is very little homeculture and too many distractions.

I feel young boys need lots of hands on projects, games of stratagem like chess, intricate puzzles, building projects, science projects, exposure to a wide variety of things, field trips, and more. I like to get them into classics for boys, biographies, JRR Tolkien’s Trilogy, Narnia, history, math literature, and more. I love Edison’s story. His mom read to him and dovetailed that with all her other farm duties. He learned to read because the stories inspired him and he did not want to wait to find what happened next. I believe parents should continue reading aloud even after kids are readers.
Here are some book ideas:
Childhood Biography of Famous Americans Edison/ Childhood Biography of Famous Americans Bell/ Childhood Biography of Famous Americans Ford/ Childhood Biography of Famous Americans Franklin/ Childhood Biography of Famous Americans Paul Revere
Carry on Mr. Bowditch
Lonesome Gods by Lamour
String, Straight Edge and Shadow Julie Duggins (The history of geometry)

Expose them to many ideas, let them explore, let them experiment, and they will discover and treasure knowledge.

One more idea especially for boys: I feel boys need to have a circle of supportive males in their life. Fathers, grandfathers, uncles, cousins, friends, neighbors. With their fathers and at times with this supportive group, I feel boys need to learn fixing, mending, entrepreneurship, and service. Some of this can be done in scouts, but I feel that the dads need to be involved and not just leave it to other men. If families and fathers seize the day and grasp this opportunity. When they do young boys will be more likely to be anxiously engaged in good causes, and less likely to be disinterested and falling into distraction as a lifestyle, floundering and not moving forward. A kind of synergy happens when men lead boys to manhood. This is the essense of sowing seeds of greatness.

On Sunday, I dropped by the Bishop’s office. He was in a meeting. The executive secretary struck up a conversation. He said, “remember about seven years ago, you shared with me about your reading of Jane Eyre? That conversation changed my life. I could read then, but didn’t. Now because of that conversation, I read Jane Eyre and now I am a voracious reader.” We have been in the neighborhood together, attending church together, all these years and this was the first peep I ever got about this. So, apparently I inspired this man because I shared with him what I was doing.

My mind raced back in time. I must have been waiting for an appointment with the Bishop and was reading Jane Eyre for a class while I was waiting. Jane Eyre is not my normal fare to prepare me for an interview, I must have been time crunched, what mommy isn’t? I remember hearing of a Bishop that had troubled youth read Jane Eyre. I worked with youth so I wondered what the deep value that bishop found in that book. I thought that was odd. Maybe all the depressing stuff in it make people feel better about their life? I finally concluded that it was because, despite the awful life and the lack of living relatives Jane Eyre still knew right from wrong. When Rochester tried to convince her to live in sin, when she discovered that he was still married, by telling her that no one would know, she knew and she knew God knew. That knowledge led her to do the right but hard thing.

My friend and I began to talk about Jane Eyre.

I had read it four time before I got it. I had at first hated the book and that blinded me to its beauties and the mastery of its messages. I wanted my daughters to run, not walk away from any Rochester they might meet. It was on the fourth read, while reading aloud to my children that I caught that Jane had heard a voice that prompted her to return and see what had become of Rochester. I then began to see this book as a story of repentance and of healing.

Bronte was surely an artist in painting the word picture of Jane Eyre. I saw a Pilgrim’s progress as Jane went from a superstitious child to a grown Christian woman. When her friend Helen Burns died, Helen knew where she was going. However, Jane was not sure. At the end of chapter nine Jane admits that Helen’s grave remained a grassy knoll for fifteen years, but that now there was a marble marker with “Resurgam” on it. This was a clue to me that the rest of the book was going to unfold how Jane came to know that she would rise again. Even though the days got brighter after the death of Helen, Jane would yet go through a time of great testing and trials, before she came to her answer.

Then there is the educator in me. I saw Jane go from unschooled, to private school, to be a governess, to a cottage school, to a learning home.

There was so much symbolism in the book. The question is, were they placed their intentionally, my friend asked, or were they the workings of some professor’s mind? I agreed that was how I once looked at literature classes. However, Jane Eyre made me think, is this what was part of Charlotte’s life and her cultural literacy that she shared with other educated people of her time, or did she do it as an intention. Was there meaning in the names of characters, books she named, authors mentioned, the flowers she named, even the dates? Intentional or incidental? I had to read about the author to begin getting clues. There was so much of her life in Jane Eyre. In the 1800s flowers were associated with meanings and people could send a message with a bouquet. I started reading the books and about the authors mentioned. Yes, significant points of contact, Coincidence? It was the dates that got me. A friend had shared that they correlate with the dates and times of day in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer. The readings for each date were quite prophetic to the story line. I wondered if Charlotte’s morning or evening readings had merely guided her thoughts. I concluded otherwise and decided that she was a master writer when some dates were inferred but not directly stated and they too correlated with the prayer book. As I shared this with my friend, he announced he must read Jane Eyre again, as he had looked up the flowers out of curiosity but did not realize that they might hold meaning.

Why share this? I was a busy mom of seven children with a toddler at the time of the original conversation.
This was not a planned speech, but a random conversation. It happened while I was waiting for an appointment. There was no plan or challenge for me to entice him to read Jane Eyre, much less for him to read more widely or deeply anything else. It was just innocent sharing. I was blown away by the impact!

What other impacts am I making for good or ill by the things I say and do? What eyes are watching? What ears hear?

Sowing Seeds of Greatness done as a gathering time with my 9 and 13 year old:

Current Events– The New Forst Presidency
Literature–Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling pg 1-9 and the poem IF
Character–Everyday Graces By Karen Santorum “The Story of Pansy”
History/Biography–The Real Thomas Jefferson Chapter One
Language arts–Mad Libs: The Space Shuttle and The Newspaper Article
Music–Guitar practice

Then we did independent studies.

Today, Mentoring Our Own is Six Years Old!

Julia and I have my husband joining us for water aerobics in the morning.

Yesterday, my husband took a trip with a friend, to Monticello. Our friend Tony does water treatment systems and he had a job to do in Blanding. So, he dropped Roger off in Monticello, and went to Blanding to do his business. This gave Roger time to go through Monticello and really get the feel for the city, talk to people, go through the city building and business laws, check out land and city records. This was a good thing. Then Tony picked Roger up for the ride back. They brainstormed and shared business ideas and fleshed some of them out. They were pretty good. All in all I think they had a great trip and their friendship grew as a result. For years, Tony’s wife and I were walking partners, and reading partners. Her illness and my educational endeavors over the last few years has limited us, getting together. We speak on the phone from time to time. I am glad that Roger and Tony had time to float ideas and polish them a bit. They returned home around 9 pm, last night.

Sowing Seeds of greatness: The kids and I finished chapter nine today in the Secret Garden. The book leads to so many mini-discussions. Then the James and Mary built trebuchets and lunched pillows and toys, down the hall. I got chilled and stole a 25 minute nap, as they played.

I call Fridays, Thesis Fridays. I work out. I read to the kids and then work on my thesis. Today I got about 6 hours in, this afternoon. I was able to begin the integration of the re-clustering into my work. All in all, I feel it is moving forward quite well.

Artist of the month: Agnolo di Cosimo “Bronzino” Italian Mannerist

Art Work of the Week: Cosimo I de’ Medici in Armour by Agnolo Bronzino

Current Events: Plague a growing but overlooked threat: study (Science)

Classic with Mary: Little Princess

Family Classic: The Secret Garden (Mary selected it) We read the first two chapters.

Author of the Month: Frances Hodgson Burnett

To be updated further as the day goes on…