Donna’s Journey

Monday, I received a call to serve as a part-time missionary as a patron assistant. The call is for one year, starting 1 July, two Sundays a month, at the BYU Family History Center. What an awesome opportunity!

Today, I went to the Sister Missionary store and bought a pair of Dansko Lotus Mary Jane shoes.

After my last conference, I hurt for days after standing 12 hours in my dress shoes, though I had comfortable shoes, Easy Spirit shoes. However, the long hours just tilted my back enough to cause me pain and suffering. Since I will be working as patron assistant for long hours, and all the conferences I do, I decided that I needed to purchase some good sensible shoes that I can stand in for a long time.

Last night, seven families gathered to celebrate the Hope Chest Journey of their mothers and daughters, thirty-nine people in all, complete with daughters, mothers and their invited guests: fathers, brothers, a grandfather, a few grandmothers, an aunt, and a great grandmother. We had a family night potluck dinner, followed by the program of each set of daughters and their mothers sharing their experiences and displaying their works. There were cookies, cakes, button pies, crochet items, handmade dolls, baby quilts, cross stitch, a new web site, hand made greeting cards, a home sewn dress, a pot with gardening tools, a drawing, a poem recitation, and pot of soil with seeds in it. One mom shared that her newly diagnosed diabetic five year old daughter was learning to test her own blood sugar and had learned to be a good sport dealing with her disease. That same family even graced us with mother and daughters all singing the preamble to the Constitution of the United States to end the program. They all looked so lovely.

Emilie Buchwald said, “Children are made readers on the laps of their parents.” I recently saw this quote and it has not left my mind. I then read a report of a speech by Brad Wilcox where he taught that when mom reads to her children she is team teaching with the author. I could not agree more!!!

My mother and grandmother read to me. When I was a child, I discovered that if I could read, I could learn almost anything, or at least get enough foundational knowledge to get started and gain experience along the way. You could say, the authors mentored me. As a young mother, I came across the story of Thomas Edison and his mother. The story inspired me. She certainly introduced him to many ideas. She read to him and fired his imagination. I wanted to do the same. I began reading to my children when my oldest was not even a year old. My mother-in-law was always sending great books my way, to share with my children, her grandchildren.

Some of my children read young, some were late bloomers. All are readers. We read aloud to each other now. Sometimes when I start a story and we have to leave, one of the children will grab a the book and insist on reading it in the car. Last year my oldest daughter read from the Chronicles of Narnia to the whole family in preparation to seeing the movie. Reading is almost always punctuated by rich conversations, questions, and learning.

Parents, often concerned that their children are not early bloomers or early independent readers have often asked what to do. Read to them. Expose them to all kinds of stories, history, great people, great ideas, by reading to them. Though the mom is doing the reading, the author is doing the teaching, ah, but wait, mom is teaching too. Mom is teaching that books are a key that can open doors and that through reading one can learn almost anything. The wise mom will stop before the child wants to. While reading skills may at first lag, the child is moving forward in knowledge. Moms are busy and soon a child grows impatient for the next session. This gives the child some incentive to be come more self sufficient in obtaining knowledge for themselves, and the key will be to learn to read. All along the way, the child is learning, being team taught by mom and the author.

This is one reason why i feel family scripture study is so vital! Parents are team teaching with the word of our Lord, then the Holy Spirit testifies to truth they are learning. “… Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith…” Hebrews 12:2 Team teaching at its finest! No matter if it is scripture or truth found in the inspired words of an author, the Holy Spirit can testify of the truth. So, the team expands, mom, the author, and the Holy Spirit testifying of truth.

There is no doubt about it, I am not a farmer when it comes to reading. I do not tend to stay in one genre, like science fiction, adventure, or fantasy. I guess I am a hunter-gatherer when it comes to reading and learning. Something catches my interest and I am likely to flit in that direction and drink deeply of the heady nectar of knowledge until my craving is satisfied, I can pull together a big picture model in my head, full of connections, and move on, but not really. A part of it will always be with me. Yes, and this includes fiction. If I am reading a fiction book at this time, it is likely to be read out loud with my daughter, my family, or on jaunts in the car with my husband. Otherwise, I nibble and may have several going at once, competing with all the myriads of other things that catch my interests.

Once I make this knowledge mine, I am more like a new convert, I have the burning need to share. Or maybe a little kid running to their mom or anyone who will listen, “looky here what I found!” Perhaps I am more like a pollinator, you know, a knowledge butterfly? I flit from place to place, resting a while, drinking deeply and passing on tiny bits, that may pollinate, and bring fruit elsewhere. Kind of like my little conversation about Jane Eyre last weekend.

It is time of year again. Summer is upon us and so is the need to revisit our commitment to our family Celebrate Reading Program. We have made progress over the year, but have fallen short of turning in our reading for what my children affectionately refer to as “beanage.” We could probably had it full by now. Lessons learned.
As parent we are behind on payout, which is a no-no. So it is time for catchup and time to move forward. Yes, I know simplicity rather than complexity. The more complex the less likely of success.

The Library has a summer reading program that begins on Monday. Yes, I let my children participate in both.

Last summer the children used their money earned to pay for food when they went to BYU Education Week.

We tweaked the program into a Celebrate Life and Learning program as summer went on: and added new dimensions:

One bean for every fifteen minutes of workout or manual labor (yard work), which is the typical workout increment.

One bean for every hour of lecture listened to, or attended, because about one hour of reading (about 20 pages for the younger children) is equivalent to one bean.

So what tweaks will we make for this summer at our coming family meeting?

On Sunday, I dropped by the Bishop’s office. He was in a meeting. The executive secretary struck up a conversation. He said, “remember about seven years ago, you shared with me about your reading of Jane Eyre? That conversation changed my life. I could read then, but didn’t. Now because of that conversation, I read Jane Eyre and now I am a voracious reader.” We have been in the neighborhood together, attending church together, all these years and this was the first peep I ever got about this. So, apparently I inspired this man because I shared with him what I was doing.

My mind raced back in time. I must have been waiting for an appointment with the Bishop and was reading Jane Eyre for a class while I was waiting. Jane Eyre is not my normal fare to prepare me for an interview, I must have been time crunched, what mommy isn’t? I remember hearing of a Bishop that had troubled youth read Jane Eyre. I worked with youth so I wondered what the deep value that bishop found in that book. I thought that was odd. Maybe all the depressing stuff in it make people feel better about their life? I finally concluded that it was because, despite the awful life and the lack of living relatives Jane Eyre still knew right from wrong. When Rochester tried to convince her to live in sin, when she discovered that he was still married, by telling her that no one would know, she knew and she knew God knew. That knowledge led her to do the right but hard thing.

My friend and I began to talk about Jane Eyre.

I had read it four time before I got it. I had at first hated the book and that blinded me to its beauties and the mastery of its messages. I wanted my daughters to run, not walk away from any Rochester they might meet. It was on the fourth read, while reading aloud to my children that I caught that Jane had heard a voice that prompted her to return and see what had become of Rochester. I then began to see this book as a story of repentance and of healing.

Bronte was surely an artist in painting the word picture of Jane Eyre. I saw a Pilgrim’s progress as Jane went from a superstitious child to a grown Christian woman. When her friend Helen Burns died, Helen knew where she was going. However, Jane was not sure. At the end of chapter nine Jane admits that Helen’s grave remained a grassy knoll for fifteen years, but that now there was a marble marker with “Resurgam” on it. This was a clue to me that the rest of the book was going to unfold how Jane came to know that she would rise again. Even though the days got brighter after the death of Helen, Jane would yet go through a time of great testing and trials, before she came to her answer.

Then there is the educator in me. I saw Jane go from unschooled, to private school, to be a governess, to a cottage school, to a learning home.

There was so much symbolism in the book. The question is, were they placed their intentionally, my friend asked, or were they the workings of some professor’s mind? I agreed that was how I once looked at literature classes. However, Jane Eyre made me think, is this what was part of Charlotte’s life and her cultural literacy that she shared with other educated people of her time, or did she do it as an intention. Was there meaning in the names of characters, books she named, authors mentioned, the flowers she named, even the dates? Intentional or incidental? I had to read about the author to begin getting clues. There was so much of her life in Jane Eyre. In the 1800s flowers were associated with meanings and people could send a message with a bouquet. I started reading the books and about the authors mentioned. Yes, significant points of contact, Coincidence? It was the dates that got me. A friend had shared that they correlate with the dates and times of day in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer. The readings for each date were quite prophetic to the story line. I wondered if Charlotte’s morning or evening readings had merely guided her thoughts. I concluded otherwise and decided that she was a master writer when some dates were inferred but not directly stated and they too correlated with the prayer book. As I shared this with my friend, he announced he must read Jane Eyre again, as he had looked up the flowers out of curiosity but did not realize that they might hold meaning.

Why share this? I was a busy mom of seven children with a toddler at the time of the original conversation.
This was not a planned speech, but a random conversation. It happened while I was waiting for an appointment. There was no plan or challenge for me to entice him to read Jane Eyre, much less for him to read more widely or deeply anything else. It was just innocent sharing. I was blown away by the impact!

What other impacts am I making for good or ill by the things I say and do? What eyes are watching? What ears hear?

I began to set the dinning room table this morning, in anticipation of our late breakfast. I stopped and went to our front porch. The the morning was a breezy 63 degrees, sunshine filtered tough the leaves and it was warm there on the porch. I grabbed the dishes from the dinning room table and took them to our table on the porch. We have a 1 1/2 story above ground, so the porch is at the level of the tree branches affording a fair amount of privacy from the street. The front porch used to be a 6×6 foot landing. I am so glad that 10 years ago, I had this 25′ porch built across half the front of the house! Good porches make good neighbors, did you hear?

Earlier, my husband had come to me and said, “while you make breakfast, I will shower and shave.” He came out to find an empty table. I guided him to the porch. Surprise! Mary and James joined us for a lovely repast of grapefruit halves, black berries, raspberries, eggs, and whole wheat toast. Everyone voted to do this as often as possible. Surely this serenity and enjoying of each others’ company is a boon to healthly living.

There was a time in my adult life that I though I was beyond fairy tales. Then I spoke with my friend Kelli Poll who had been researching the history and origin of fairy tales. Knights brought them back from the Holy land when they returned from the crusades. The stories we know today have gone through many changes, but the many layers of symbolism from the past are still there.

In the Christian faith, the church is seen as the bride of Christ. Looking at symbolism and archetypes, several things emerge. In the fairy tales, the birth of a child was heralded as a great blessing. Fairy tales often have damsels in distress. We are the damsel in distress and are completely unable to “save” ourselves. Christ is the Prince of Peace and is mighty to save. What about the witch? The adversary like the witch, crone, etc. tries to take power and control everyone. What of poison apples and such? Temptation and the fall of Adam. What happens when we succumb? We come under the power of the evil one.

Yes, it is possible to live happily ever after. After all, is that not the description of Heaven?

I know there are those twisted souls that would rather suffer than believe. They scoff and mock faith in God and call it a mere fairytale. Ah, but they are blind in not seeing the symbolism.

“Princess fever reigns for generation of girls…”

My husband saw this article and brought it to my attention. I thought I would respond to the article here. It appears that the Miss Minchins of the world came out in force. Miss Minchin reacts as these experts are reacting. They just do not get it. Who is Miss Minchin?
Here is a dialogue from the movie, A Little Princess:
” Miss Minchin: Don’t tell me you still fancy yourself a princess? Child, look around you! Or better yet, look in the mirror.
Sara Crewe: I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren’t pretty, or smart, or young. They’re still princesses. All of us. Didn’t your father ever tell you that? Didn’t he? ”
Wow!

It appears that there are many parents across the nation in a tither because their daughters are caught in princess fever. Perhaps the idea of princess resonates with these young maidens because deep down inside they are princesses.

Wise parents can pick up on their daughter’s princesses fever and guide away from the self indulgent Prima Donna to a healthier place. Remember, the hand that rocks the cradle does rule the world. The question is, are we going to do our Divinely appointed duty or are we going to outsource to experts and media? To the parents I say, “Carpe Diem (seize the day)! Don’t be a Miss Minchin!”

A princess is born to her position, and not all princesses will become queens, nevertheless they need to be prepared for that eventuality. So, while a princess is born, a queen is made. Our gender neutral laid back society has become too casual, too crass, too vulgar. We could use some refinement and polish. We need to educate the heart, and the hands, as well as the mind. The heart is the seat of magnanimity, it is great to desire to help our children be great souled. If we had tended to these things over the last forty years, perhaps our world financial institutions and economies would be in a better place.

I am not worried about the princess thing, when parents engaged and see their opportunity. We can raise Little Princesses instead.

Beauty is developed from the inside out. We can help our daughters develop their inner beauty. We can teach them the difference between Beauty and Glamour. It is from this inner beauty that the outward graces flow. Yes, grace is the outward manifestation of inner beauty.

So, instead of hand wringing and whining, I decided I could either be the problem or solution, I chose to offer a solution. Though originally established in December 2006, my daughters and I have created The Princess Academies, L.L.C.- an international organization for young ladies and their mothers, as well as, adult women (18 and over) who recognize that they are born of royal birth, who desire to develop and flower in their potential, and prepare to be queens in their own homes. We created The Hope Chest Journey: A Call to Beauty and Grace a shared journey for mothers and daughters. Princess Academy Circles are a growing movement of young ladies, their mothers, and women connecting, in homes around the globe.
We promote:
Beautiful Girlhood
Equipping, through
Love and learning,
Ladies of
Eloquence, Generosity, Comeliness, Grace, and
Sisterhood.

We will move from a blog as an online presence to our new home on the web, as a full website- scheduled to launch 6 June 2009! I will keep you posted.